“Comparison is the Thief of Joy” they say! I’m sure this is why the little ole action of comparison gets a pretty bad wrap. I see blog and Facebook post after post warning about the imminent danger of comparisons but did you know that comparisons can actually be the giver of Joy? People are mis-informed about comparisons, read on to find out why.
C’mon here, lets be honest, how many times have you compared your life to your highschool arch enemy who was cool at school but ended up with a dead beat husband and a boring job, and felt pretty good about yourself after all? This comparison didn’t rob you, it probably made you feel great.
Just the other day I compared the beejesus out of my old website to my new website and I felt wonderful. By comparing I realised just how far I’d grown, how far my business and personal vision has expanded and blossomed and how I’d immensely up levelled my skills. Thank you comparison! I felt free, expansive and inspired!
HERE’S SOME GREAT LIFE GIVING UPSIDES TO COMPARISONS
- You see what is possible: By comparing yourself to others on a similar journey, who may even be a little further along, you can see just what is possible. It can help expand your own vision or even give you something to aim for.
- You realise your own greatness and get motivated: Do you have some great skills and knowledge but are holding yourself back from really getting ‘out there’ and shining? Maybe you notice someone in a similar field ‘out there’ doing what you’d love to but it’s evident you have more knowledge. By comparing yourself it may just give you the light bulb moment that goes something like this! “Shishkabob, if she can do it, then there’s no reason why I can’t”! You swoop into action and go do that thing you’ve always wanted to do. Thank you comparison!
- Comparing can allow you to appreciate yourself and your life. When I see people really struggling with finding that special one, with illness or even their limiting beliefs keeping them stuck, it allows me to reflect back at my life and be grateful for what I have, the challenges I’ve overcome and for simply being me.
- Appreciate your loved ones: Have you ever listened to old friends tell you horror stories about their husbands and then thought “mine really isn’t that bad after all’ or “um, mine would never do that”. You go home and say “honey I love you, you are the best” and all sorts of warm fuzzy feelings embrace you both. There is certainly no joy thief lurking around.
- You upgrade your business, your partner or even your health: By comparing some of the results you’re getting to the results of others you realise it’s time to lift the game. Which is a good thing. A really good thing. Comparing your relationship might make you realise your current one is just not working and decide to move on and find one that does. Seeing someone enjoying great health and vitality may be just enough to give you that kick up the beeeeehind and whip yourself into gear. Remember that old Special K ad on T.V “Ooh yeah, I want what she’s having”.
COMPARISON IS NOT THE THEIF OF JOY. THE THIEF IS IN YOUR OWN THINKING
As you can see from the examples above, comparison did not rob anything, but instead gave so much. Comparison is not a thief! The thief is your own illusionary thinking and lack of awareness.
You can compare and lift yourself up with comparisons or you can compare and put yourself down. Your choice my Lovely!
I used to work with a girl who naturally sported a rocking hot body. She was toned looking, had a 6 pack and hardly any body fat. HOT! People would compare themselves to her and say things to her like “You’re so lucky”, “I wish I was you”! It would really annoy my friend as she hardly lived a charmed life (she fought depression, was addicted to an illegal substance and didn’t really love herself all that much), but people thought her life was perfect because of how she looked. By comparing their body to hers they made themselves feel all sorts of bad in comparison. Comparison wasn’t the thief it was their illusionary thinking of what they thought having rocking hot body would FEEL like, and they were totally off the mark. This is illusionary thinking in action here.
To compare yourself to someone who has more wealth than you and think their life is sooo much better is also illusionary. Maybe they work 75 hours a week, are always sick and never see their family. Do you want that?
Stop putting yourself down for a start! I guarantee you have wealth somewhere in your life, it may be in a different form than financial wealth. My family have great connection and trust because my Mum ad Dad put a lot of time and effort into being there for us. That was more fulfilling to them than pursuing financial wealth. That’s worth a lot! Not better or worse just different!
You will Naturally Build areas of your Life that you Bring Energy to!
The person who you are comparing your life to may not be any happier or fulfilled, or maybe they are, just in a different way than you. Comparison is not robbing anyone, your thinking is!
THE GOOD NEWS
With this new awareness you can change your thinking.
Notice when you are comparing and lifting yourself up
Notice when you are comparing and putting yourself down.
MY TIPS ABOUT COMPARISONS
If you were a radio station, the best way to keep the signal clear is to be as you are and avoid crossing it with someone else’s station otherwise the signal will go static. What on earth do I mean by this!
Keep your eyes on your own work and head in your own game!
Be aware of the compare! Notice when you are comparing and pin point what you think that person has that you don’t. For example: at a function a group of women including myself were speaking to a very smart gentlemen. When he shared with us that he was a Vice Chancellor of a University many of the women, who a moment ago were very chatty became quiet, like they didn’t have anything else to say. Possibly they started comparing and putting him above them. Doing this severs lines of communication. In that moment I did see him as very smart and intelligent, so I quickly scanned my life and owned where and in what area of my life I am very smart and intelligent. (Note; This is something you can do too). At that moment he became an equal to me in my mind, then and we chatted for hours. I even went and had a cuppa with him at the uni.
REMEMBER: COMPARISON IS NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD
I want to see you flourish and love your life, so be mindful about comparisons and how your mind decides to use them.