“Sshhh, I’m hiding from negative people” This image caught my eye as it turned up in my Facebook as I was on the morning scroll through. Whilst a whole bunch of so called “positive” people jumped on the bandwagon and started slandering negative people, I stopped and realized just how misguided some people are. How “positive is that? Commenting and bitching about negative people. I had to laugh.
You see by hiding from negativity you are actually denying half of yourself. You are saying life would be better if there were no Yin with the Yang, only daytime never night time, white no black, water without fire, sunny days without rainy days. It’s actually one of the most absurd statements I’ve ever come across (so absurd I thought I’d write a post about it).
If the solution to Negativity was to hide, I’d be hiding from half my family and heck I’d be hiding from myself sometimes too!
I’ll be the fist to tell you that some days I am a total negative biaarrrrch. You know the days where you wake up tired after a late night, grumble at the alarm clock, look in the mirror and think “ohh, that’s a fright”, You’re late for work and some old lady is driving 20kms under the speed limit and you mutter to your self “stupid, old people need to get off the road if they can’t at least do the speed limit.” You get the picture. Although this may not be my every day demeanor, it happens some days.
Not ALL of my thoughts are positive, no sir-ree, and I’m glad about that. If I thought only good thoughts about every boss I ever had, I’d still be in my first job. Scary thought, in it’s self! If I thought good thoughts only about myself, I wouldn’t give myself a quick swift kick up the butt after putting on 5kgs, which then motivates me to lose it.
Most of us deem a negative person a person who challenges you or your values, who dis-agrees with you, does something “TO” us, who maybe whines about life or is draining to listen to. Hiding from this is only going to keep you stuck as you will attract more of it into your life. yep, that’s right MORE! That old saying of “What you resist persists” will be evident as you try and hide.
More whiners more complainers, more challenging people will be showing up in your life as long as you are trying to run away and deny that part of yourself. They’ll be chasing you until you learn to deal with them and embrace them. They are never going to go away. I don’t like to be the bearer of bad news or could I say good news. Some of the most negative people in my life have been the ones that have challenged me and have had the most overall positive impact on my life. They’ve made me grow, face my own demons, take a good hard look at myself, made me stronger, made me stand up for what I believe in, made me resilient. The list goes on. Funny that, isn’t it! So why would I want them to go away or hide from them like a little wimp.
What needs to change, is your own way of dealing with these so called “negative” people. So What to do:
- If someone dis-agrees with you, so what? It’s just another point of view, it doesn’t mean they are Negative.
- If someone is bitching and being “negative”, STOP feeding it. Excuse yourself from them, inform them that you chose not to engage in such talk or encourage them to face their problems as running their story isn’t going to help. Otherwise YOU are feeding it. Sometimes “bitching” can be a way of releasing frustration or tension.
- If a negative person comes up on your Facebook page, and you don’t know them just delete them. Simple, no need to go into a half an hour rant yourself about them. Ironic! I’ve seen this happen many times. I have heaps of so called “negative comments (even a few troll like ones) on some old Youtube cooking video’s that I posted. Doesn’t really bother me, who cares. The clips with negative comments get the most views. I think it’s funny, more people want to see what its about.The more negative comments I get the more positive ones I get.
- If someone is complaining to you in a work or business environment, listen to them, maybe they have a valid opinion. Not many people complain that would like to complain, so if a person takes the time out to complain then maybe something is wrong. Maybe not, but you need to give them a chance rather than label them a whiner. You may make your service or product better because of it.
- You can’t change somebody that doesn’t want to change, so why try. Save yourself time and energy and stop trying to “change” negative people. No one I know on this planet can say they are “ALWAYS” positive. You are living in a fantasy land if you think you are. To get rid of negativity would mean getting rid of positivity. You cannot have one without the other.
- Don’t react to them. Not reacting to them can diffuse the energy. I’ve watched someone take a phone call where the caller was complaining, angry and yelling. The person I was watching started yelling back and it was getting heated. She got off the phone and said “they were yelling and angry”, I said “Take a good look at yourself, so were you, what do you expect”.
- Remember, it’s not a negative comment or action that affects you, it’s how you decide to perceive that comment or action. So basically it’s not them, it’s you.
I know people who aim to be nice and positive all the time, making everything “better” and doing the “right” thing. I also see the same people get walked over and feel drained as they are trying to please everyone by being positive all the time. They feel like they are losing themselves. As a matter of fact they are. One whole side of themselves. They often get depressed as they are internalizing that part of themselves. Not very “positive”
Can you imagine watching Australian Idol and the judges were only nice and positive to all contestants. Would any of them grow, become better or push themselves? So to hide from negative people is impossible as you would have to hide from yourself half the time. It would be futile and you would never grow as a person and become more of who you know you can be.
STOP TRYING TO HIDE FROM NEGATIVITY AND INSTEAD FACE IT AND EMBRACE IT. IT CAN SERVE A PURPOSE!
Enjoy 🙂
Larissa Halls
