One of the most powerful actions towards a goal I held dearly in my  heart, a goal that would change my future, a goal that I’d longed for since my teens was to do the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the breathtakingly heart shattering, and that was…

LET IT GO

I broke up with the man of my dreams. The man I thought I’d be with until his ears grew grey wirery hairs, my boobs sagged to my waist and we’d only part ways when the angel of death knocked on our door.

WHY DO SUCH A THING

It became exhausting, I was pushing hard, I was losing myself, it seemed at the time like we both wanted different things like maybe  I wanted the relationship more than him. I was doing everything I thought you “should do” to achieve your goals such as:

  • Put the goal first, make it a priority
  • Hold the vision in your mind and concentrate on it every day
  • Take continuous action
  • Gain specialised knowledge
  • Find a way to MAKE IT WORK

But it still didn’t feel like it was working. Letting go was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Harder than trying to make it work but somewhere, when I drowned out the noises in my head, my heart was lovingly whispering and nudging me to do this (damn I hate that little voice sometimes)!

THE OUTCOME

After my vision of us (and my heart, I think his too) shattered into a million pieces it was like the universe picked those pieces up, polished them all up and put them back together and said “you past the test, here is your reward”. We have been living together for the past 5 years, looking to start a family and I love him today more than ever. Funny how things work out.

You may have heard the numerous stories about couples trying for years to fall pregnant and then finally give up, only to discover they are pregnant. Surrendering can be powerful.

Pushing too hard can sometimes push it away

PUSHING TOO HARD

When teaching yoga I advise my participants to never push too far into a pose. Why? If you push too hard or strain into a pose your muscle will lock and not release thanks to the muscle spindle. It is advised to never force yourself into a stretch, but rather “dissolve” the blockages slowly by working with the spinal cord reflex arcs. This consists of feeling the stretch, breathing gently into it, letting it go and allowing your body to relax into the pose.

You’ll go much further from breathing, letting go and relaxing into a pose then by forcing your body into a it. The same principals apply with your goals.

YOUR NEW YEARS GOALS –  KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO

The dawn of the New Year can quite often send people into a goal setting frenzy. This frenzy is otherwise known as the New Year Resolution. There’s power in goal setting and is certainly a must, but there is also immense power in knowing when to let go and knowing when to not clutter your whole life with goals.

“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try and hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve”  -Lao Tzu

We live in an action orientated society and sometimes we simply forget to occasionally stop and take in the view.  Meaning we scoot from one goal to the next, striving, achieving, longing for the next step without stopping and enjoying the way your life is right this very moment and being grateful for the presence.

KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO

This is where you need to become your own guru. Only YOU know when to let your goal go. There’s a fine line between giving up and letting go. Here’s a few indications that your goal may not be serving you:

  • Your health is suffering
  • It is damaging things you feel important in your life (ie relationships, family, friends)
  • You are losing your sense of self
  • Your self esteem is suffering
  • You realize they aren’t your goals, but someone else’s (been there before)
  • The outcome isn’t soley dependent on you, but you are doing most of the work and hating it
  • You have changed direction and your goal is outdated – You aren’t failing here, you are succeeding in knowing what serves you
  • Other goals are more important -You’ll naturally let the lower priority goals go, so don’t beat yourself up about this.

I read a post lately about a woman who set a goal to make all food from scratch from natural ingredients for her family. Sounds like a wholesome goal. She set out, prepared, cooked, cleaned and became suzy home maker. The thing was that this goal became so time consuming that other areas of her life suffered. The family business she was involved in suffered, she was behind in her income tax statements, she lost contact with friends and other family members.

This by no means, means it was a bad goal but remember you only have a certain amount of hours in a day. Some goals will stay, some will go and some will take significantly longer that you ever imagined. Some will simply hinder your life and hold you hostage to the illusion that “life will be better when you reach that goal”.

I leave you with this:

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished” – Lao tzu

Take time often to check in with your values (whats most important to you), your heart and scan the horizon of your life. This will allow you to make adjustments to your current goals, let them go and surrender or adjust any unrealistic time frames you’ve placed upon yourself.

Purposeful goals are never easy but are always worth it.

Larissa x