Why I say NO to Body Positivity and the nurturing behaviour that works so much better for my clients and for me.
My focus is on building your self worth, minimising shame and guilt and giving yourself permession to live your best life.
 
You see, Body Positivity can actually create guilt, the actual feeling you’re trying to get rid of. 
 
Being positive all of the time is an unrealistic expectation and when you fail at it (which will happen because there is a natural cycle of emotional and energetic states) you may find yourself beating yourself up, the very thing you were trying to stop. So you beat yourself up for beating yourself up. Hmmmm.
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It’s Plain and simple why I’m not into Body Positivity: It can create guilt!!

I’m into body love! So what’s the difference, you may ask.

Here’s an example:

Think of your partner, kids or a family member or friend you love greatly……

Do they annoy you sometimes? 

Do you sometimes not like them?

Do they occasionally get in your face and you just want them to go away? The long walk off a short pier scenario…

Some may label these feelings as negative but it’s reality and they know and you know you still actually love them.

So we notice things about our body we don’t like on particular days. Certain things annoy you and frustrate you. Totally normal.

So how NOT to make these observances draining, limiting or explode your self worth.

You have to STOP the additional comment or narration that goes after the observation.

For example: I notice ‘oh heck I’ve put on some weight’. Instead of feeling shameful, not good enough or beating myself up I instead:

Ask myself powerful questions?

How did this occur?

Am I willing to do something about it, what and when? I Might start walking more or gee I realise I’m using chocolate again to avoid my underlying feelings about unresolved issues. 

Or

I could simply notice the observance. Hmm , I put on a bit of weight. And then shut up! Instead of attaching a meaning to it.

It’s the meaning you attach to things is what’s disempowering and self worth destroying.

If you notice you’ve put on weight, all it means is you’ve consumed  too many calories, maybe you’re using food as a crutch or you’ve been so darn busy investing time and energy into other areas of life you’re not focused on food prep. Thats it!

It’s not about being positive or negative it’s about being aware, understanding yourself, what makes you tick, learning to love your body no matter what. 

Love encompasses both sides, positive and negative. 

Create new meaning s to your observances.

If you’re overweight it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, beautiful, a bad wife or mother, not going to find a new partner or get that job. It doesn’t mean those things. Only if you let them .

Today’s observances may be one thing and tomorrow’s another. Ebb and flow! Everything including your opinion and views about yourself will ebb and flow. Even the hottest super model will know exactly the things she doesn’t like about her body. She’s not being negative she’s being Normal. 

So notice without the extra commentary or meaning you add to something. Big nose? So what! Thunder thighs! Yep, that’s me! Floppy Boobs? Well thats what kids do to ya! No beating yourself just notice, take action if you don’t like it but beating yourself up serves no purpose.

Your thought’s aren’t going to be all positive and that’s a good thing. How do you know when you’ve gotten out of control with the evening wines!

Let’s Love and embrace both types of thoughts as they both can be constructive.

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From my heart to yours