Should you hug someone if they are upset?

Wow, what a topic. You may be surprised to hear the answer and the reasons behind it.

Watch this weeks video below or listen to the podcast (audio version)

There is no definitive answer here and it’s up to your intuition or instincts but these are very important things to consider.

Here’s the three main things you need to take into consideration:

1. Hugging or touch in general can trigger past traumatic experiences for someone. Not very nice for that person and they won’t always want to enter into that discussion with you about it. Some people hate other people coming into their space in general. Just because you’re a hugger doesn’t mean everyone else is. It can make matters worse.
2. Jumping in and hugging someone can interrupt a wonderful process that’s happening.. Crying can be a release of emotions, a letting go of internal emotional debris or waste. If you jump in and hug them it may (or may not) stifle or interrupt that beautiful process. Sometimes the brain is processing an event and the interruption will shut down that processing. Not useful to jump in with a hug in this situation.
3. Some people use crying as a strategy to get what they want, deflect a situation or to gain sympathy. Hugging simply will reinforce negative behaviour.

Many of us like to think that a nice warm hug is ALWAYS useful but quite simply in some instances it is not. Use your discretion, or simply ask the person wold you like a hug right now?

Could’t watch the video on here for some reason. Click HERE to watch it on Facebook

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I’ll see you next week

From my heart to yours

Larissa xx

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